i hope i’m not only a beloved mutual to you but also an annoying mutual-in-law to someone else
One struggle 🫡
if we keep getting fatter and hornier we can abolish all world militaries by 2026
holy shit this kid who took down the PRESIDENT OF STANFORD is an EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD FRESHMAN????? imagine being the president of an elite university with a celebrated scientific career and you get taken down by a TEENAGER writing for the student paper of your own university who broke a story about decades of data manipulation and scientific misconduct that led to an eight-month investigation (which itself was riddled with issues that the same student reporter also continued to expose). imagine being on the board of trustees or in any other position of leadership at this institution and watching this teenager clown on you for not being able to do your fucking jobs. he had to lay it all out on a fucking platter for you to bring it home. insane.
lmao bi flag website design… okay slay
okay so I HAD to check and
HE WAS FOUND OUT BY THE SAME SCIENTIST WHO CAUGHT THE INFAMOUS ALZHEIMER'S FRAUD !!!
her name is Elisabeth Bik and she is an absolute legend, she quit her day job to focus on combing through thousands of scientific papers a week, for no pay, to identify cases of data manipulation and scientific fraud
the full documentation of Marc Tessier-Lavigne's data manipulation is here
Tumblr making badges and checkmarks explicitly making fun of twitter while also changing every possible feature to copy twitter
I love this, though, because my favorite thing about Superman is he isn’t Batman. I love Batman too, but Superman isn’t a dude who decided to live his life in pursuit of a vendetta against society when he was eight and then just did nothing for the next two decades but get super jacked, become the world’s greatest detective, and memorize every strategy used by every winner in every field of competition in history. Superman is a very good-hearted person who knows how to bale hay, use AP Stylebook, and break meteors into manageable bite-sized pieces by hitting them real hard. And I’m not saying Superman isn’t smart. He’s a bright guy, he’s just not like, one of the celebrated geniuses of the DC Universe. The best thing about Superman is he is basically a normal dude who happens to be orders of magnitude stronger than anyone else. Normal dudes have brain farts. Normal dudes are presented with a life-or-death situation they have less than four seconds to resolve and make a decision that is not optimal. Normal dudes aren’t typically asked to rescue a child from a 10,000 ton machine bearing down on him at 85mph, but if they were, they would probably sometimes panic a little and do dumb shit like ruin a train when they could have just whisked the child to safety.
I think sometimes Superman makes the wrong decision, not necessarily to the result of extreme catastrophe, but something like this, where everyone is standing around clapping and cheering and the kid’s parents are weeping in gratitude and they want to pose for a picture for the 6 o’ clock news with Superman and the conductor, and in the crowd someone is like “Why didn’t he fly the kid out of the way?” and rather than rolling with the fact that the emperor is naked his friend just says “Shut up, Drew, it’s Superman.”
And then, because I also love Batman for very different reasons, I imagine that later on the same day Bruce Wayne gets a phone call and Clark Kent is like “Hey, Wayne, I uh, need a favor.”
“Do you now.”
“Yeah, I, uh, kind of owe the Union Pacific Railroad $60,000.”
“Oh, and why’s that?”
“Come on, don’t do this to me. It was all over the news.”
“I’m prepared to write you a no-strings-attached check for the full amount on the condition that you explain your entire thought process from beginning to end.”
Anyway, that’s why I like Superman.
I think this is very accurate. One time a tree fell on me in the forest and while it would have made more sense to simply jump to the side and avoid it my idiot brain went through the fight-or-flight options and apparently chose fight, so I reached out my hand and caught the tree, then dropped it on the ground beside me. Ended up fracturing my wrist and wondering why the fuck my brain thought that was the best option for survival. I don’t think people are good at really weighing the optimal choices in moments of crisis.
Bruce: “New Justice League policy. I am willing to pay for whatever damages you guys do in the name of justice and saving lives, but you have to write up a report detailing how the damage occured, including your thought process. Every once in a while, I will complie them into a presentation that we will go through as a whole to determine how you could have mitigated the collateral damage.”
Clark: “This is going to be a ‘name and shame’ type of thing, isn’t it?”
Bruce, lying through his teeth: “Of course not, don’t be ridiculous. This is to improve ourselves.”
The ones who admit “I don’t know what happened here” get a pass on shaming but they still get the alternative suggestions list
And on nights when he really needs a break, Bruce pulls those presentations out, watches the video, and laughs his tits off.
Forget the edgy “batman contingency: here’s how I’d kill all my friends” that’s all over YouTube Shorts, THIS is the series I want to see!
Friendly reminder this Moon Landing Day that this website exists, where you can drop yourself at any point in the mission where the crew are awake and they'll probably be bantering with Houston.
